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“Is a well written, entertaining, and thoughtful parenting book that provides a nice intermix of case vignettes, behavior management techniques, and information about child development and family dynamics.”

—Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic


“What makes Stop Arguing so readable is the author's sympathetic attitude toward parents, as well as his acknowledgement that responsive listening alone is not a panacea.”

—Kirkus Reports


“The material in this book will be helpful to parents who really want to transform their arguments into productive conversations and especially valuable to those parents who want to break the cycle of chronic arguing and regain their parental authority. These strategies work for toddlers and teenagers. I wish this book had been around when my oldest child was a baby, but it is never to late to start.”

—Attention Magazine


“Presents an abundance of information that is practical and powerful. This straightforward, self-help book is especially interesting and helpful for parents and for educators.”

—The Family Journal


“This excellent book is one that parents will dog-ear and keep handy. Like a wise grandparent, it helps today's stressed and beleaguered parents calm down and do a better job of parenting. Nichols' responsive listening approach is smart and sound, and it is presented clearly and confidently. I wish I had read Stop Arguing with Your Kids when I was a parent; I'll make sure my adult kids get copies.”

—Augustus Y. Napier, PhD, author of The Family Crucible and The Fragile Bond


“Whether dealing with my own four-year-old or my sister's feisty preteen, this book has helped me fashion responses that work.”

—Mary Comerford, mother of three, Westchester, New York


“A widely respected academic authority and clinician, Dr. Nichols understands how families work, and in this book he offers parents a tool to navigate the difficult spots in their developing relationship with their children.”

—Philip J. Guerin, MD, family psychiatrist, Rye Brook, New York


“A gem of a parenting book, with an abundance of empathy and expertise for parent and child. Just wait until you see the experience of being understood in your child’s eyes—the battle will become irrelevant.”

—Marisa Leto, mother of a five-year-old, Greenbrae, California


“If you're tired of all those arguments with your kids that leave you feeling frustrated, angry, or guilty, you're in for a real treat. Finally, some down-to-earth, easy-to-understand advice for turning battles into loving interactions. Read it—your kids will thank you!”

—Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Change Your Life and Everyone In It

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Table of Contents

Preface

I. How Responsive Listening Works to Eliminate Arguments

1. Taking Charge of Your Children without a Battle

2. The Five Steps of Responsive Listening

3. How to Head Off Arguments before They Start

4. How to Inspire Cooperation in Your Children

5. Breaking the Cycle of Chronic Arguing

II. How to Apply Responsive Listening to Different Age Groups

6. Young Children: Tears and Tantrums

7. School-Age Children: "Do I Have To?"

8. Teenagers: "You Can't Tell Me What to Do!"

III. Complications

9. The Changing Dynamics of the Adolescent Family

10. When Arguing Seems Unavoidable: How to Use Responsive Listening in the Toughest Situations

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About the Author

Michael P. Nichols, PhD, is Professor of Psychology at the College of William and Mary. He is a well-known family therapist and popular speaker who has been a guest on national television programs. Dr. Nichols is the author or editor of over a dozen books, including The Lost Art of Listening and Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods, the most widely used textbook in the field. In addition to teaching and practicing family therapy, Dr. Nichols is a national masters powerlifting champion.

• All titles by Michael P. Nichols

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Audience

Parents of children of any age, from preschoolers to teens; also of interest to teachers and other professionals working with kids.