“The book provides guidance for therapists as they support clients in what is often a long and difficult process towards resolution of their issues.…This is a book that really looks at the work that is needed from an honest and realistic point of view and provides sensible suggestions for moving therapy forward. It will be a valuable addition to the bookshelf.”

—The Independent Practitioner (on the first edition)


“I like this book. It's straightforward and the procedures outlined in it make sound clinical sense to me....The authors offer a concrete approach to these troubled couples, and their book is peppered with case examples that are rich, illustrative, and all too familiar to this therapist. I recommend this book to anyone who works with families.”

—The Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic (on the first edition)


“This is the essential book for therapists about how to work with couples in the wake of affairs. Couple therapists have long struggled with how to bring a systemic approach to this major life crisis, about which opinions are plentiful and wisdom is rare. Baucom, Snyder, and Carrino present a masterful, integrative, evidence-based systematic approach, honed over decades. They superbly address both working through the crisis and exploring the complexities of this experience. The fully updated second edition reflects societal and technological changes and is filled with poignant examples and useful materials, such as letters that can be used as part of therapy. This brilliantly written book should be part of every couple therapist’s library.”

—Jay L. Lebow, PhD, ABPP, former Editor in Chief, Family Process


“Without a doubt, this is the definitive work on treating couples facing infidelity. It offers a research-based, clinically road-tested framework that helps therapists move from 'What do I do now?' to 'I’ve got this!' The second edition addresses the rapidly changing worlds of online relationships and consensual nonmonogamy while placing renewed emphasis on establishing clear boundary expectations. The writing is wonderfully clear and even comforting for therapists managing their own stress while working with volatile couples in the crucible of infidelity.”

—William J. Doherty, PhD, Department of Family Social Science (Emeritus), University of Minnesota


“Helping couples heal from affairs can be overwhelming! New and seasoned therapists will breathe a sigh of relief as they read the evocative case examples and clinical dialogue in the second edition of this book. Baucom, Snyder, and Carrino offer a map to make sense of the chaos and the practical guidance needed to empathically structure a therapeutic process that delicately balances safety and the need to go beyond comfort zones. With a keen sense of timing and attention to both individual and relational responsibility, the authors capture how to help couples across relationship structures, life stages, cultures, and contexts move through the shattering hurt, anger, and confusion of affairs.”

—Carmen Knudson-Martin, PhD, LMFT, Marriage, Couple, and Family Therapy Program (Emerita), Lewis & Clark Graduate School


“This is the book I most often recommend to clinicians seeking guidance in one of the most challenging areas of couple therapy. The second edition integrates advances in relationship science, trauma-informed care, and evidence-based intervention into a compassionate framework for helping couples navigate the profound pain and complexity of infidelity. What sets this book apart is its remarkable balance of deep clinical wisdom and accessible, actionable strategies that therapists can immediately put into practice. It should be required reading in graduate courses and training programs focused on couple and family therapy. Few books so effectively illuminate a path from betrayal and broken trust toward healing, growth, and renewed connection.”

—Anthony Chambers, PhD, ABPP, Chief Academic Officer and Clinical Professor, The Family Institute at Northwestern and Northwestern University