Compassion for Couples
Building the Skills of Loving Connection
Michelle Becker
Foreword by Christopher Germer
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Michelle Becker shares two mindfulness exercises from Compassion for Couples.
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Introduction
I. Start Where You Are: Understanding How Things Go Wrong in Relationships and How Things Get Better
1. We All Need to Be Loved
2. "Why Can't You Be Here for Me?": Understanding What Gets in the Way
3. "I Wish I Could Fix It!": Resisting Pain with Problem Solving
4. "Do You Care?": Finding Safe Connection
5. "Who Will Love Me?": Ensuring That Compassion Is Always Available to You
II. Building a Foundation for Compassion in Your Relationship: Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Kindness
6. Being Present: Mindfulness Skills to See Clearly and Quiet Reactivity
7. Cultivating Connection: Strength in Common Humanity
8. Getting What We Need: Kindness in Three Directions
III. Putting It into Practice: Tailoring Compassion Skills to Your Relationship
9. "What Really Matters to Us?": Rooting Your Relationship in Your Values
10. "How Can We Really Get Each Other?": Using Compassionate Communication Skills
11. "Can We Heal Our Wounds?": Cultivating the Conditions for Forgiveness
12. "How Do We Keep Our Love Alive?": Celebrating Positive Experiences Together
Resources
Notes
List of Audio Tracks
Index
Audio Downloads:
1. Finding Strength and Softness (5:25)
2. Uncovering Your Survival Strategies and How They Impact Your Partner (5:52)
3. Discovering Our Tendencies to Fix and Finding Vulnerability Underneath (4:57)
4. Discovering What’s Underneath Your Need to Control, What Your Partner Feels, and How to Speak from Vulnerability (3:29)
5. Finding the Strong Back of Compassion (3:57)
6. Finding the Soft Front of Compassion (4:31)
7. Discovering How We Treat Ourselves and Others (5:35)
8. Putting Self-Compassion into Practice with Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Kindness (8:54)
9. Supportive Touch (4:31)
10. Soles of the Feet (4:10)
11. Awareness of Breath (7:41)
12. Awareness of Sound (5:38)
13. STOP (5:35)
14. Touching Hands (5:06)
15. Discovering Common Humanity (5:57)
16. Belonging (6:48)
17. Loving-Kindness for Couples (9:13)
18. Motivating Yourself with Compassion (12:22)
19. Soften, Soothe, and Allow (8:42)
20. Meeting Our Own Needs (4:47)
21. Discovering Your Core Values (5:16)
22. STOP and LOVE (13:43)
23. Forgiving Others (7:48)
24. Forgiving Yourself (7:22)
25. Gratitude for Your Partner (3:51)