The Lost Art of Listening

I. The Yearning to Be Understood

1. "Did You Hear What I Said?": Why Listening Is So Important

2. "Thanks for Listening": How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other

3. "Why Don’t People Listen?": How Communication Breaks Down

II. The Real Reasons People Don’t Listen

4. "When Is It My Turn?": The Heart of Listening—The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs

5. "You Hear Only What You Want to Hear": How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening

6. "Why Do You Always Overreact?": How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive

III. Getting Through to Each Other

7. "Take Your Time—I’m Listening": How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen

8. "I Never Knew You Felt That Way": Empathy Begins with Openness

9. "I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You": How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity

IV. Listening in Context

10. "It Takes Two to Tango": Listening Between Intimate Partners

11. "Nobody Around Here Ever Listens to Me!": How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family

12. "I Knew You’d Understand": Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues

13. "I’m Not Wasting My Time Talking to That Person!": How to Listen to People It’s Impossible to Agree With

Epilogue